All the Love in the World
by sinemoras09
Summary: She will not say his name. Solomon survives. AU. Solomon/Saya, Saya/Haji. Angst. Character death. Spoilers for episode 47.


.

.

The monitor blinked. Quietly, Saya pushed back the curtain, gingerly sitting beside the bed. Solomon was unconscious, pale and breathing only through the tube shoved down his throat.

"It's a miracle he survived," Julia said. Quietly she moved and swabbed Saya's arm, prepping her for her blood transfusion. "Who would have thought your tears would counteract your blood? It's a miracle," Julia said.

Saya said nothing. It happened so fast. Her battle with Diva; Haji's death. Even Kai couldn't make her feel not so alone.

Julia snapped on the tourniquet and slipped in the IV. Beside her, the ventilator heaved like bellows with Solomon's breath, and Julia took down his vitals on the monitor.

xXx

.

She remembered what happened; how she and Haji found Solomon lying on the ground, arm shattered and his body beginning to fracture.

_"It was the sword," Haji said. Saya sobbed and wracked her eyes and hauled Solomon's body up in her arms. "Saya. You mustn't blame yourself."_

"I'm sorry," Saya said. She cried into Solomon's chest, shoulders shaking. "Everyone dies because of me."

Haji said nothing. The night was quiet; she could hear the sounds of crickets chirping in the dark.

And then. Saya jerked upright. The cracks in Solomon's skin began to recede.

"Haji," Saya said. The gray shrank back; Solomon began to breathe.

xXx

.

She woke, daylight slipping through the webs of her cocoon. Saya pushed through the chrysalis and sat upright, taking in one large gasp of breath before vaulting forward, trying to stand.

There is always that rush of confusion whenever she wakes; memories like dreams flood and intermingle, the scenes of her past lives hazy and distant. She felt a hand press her arm and Saya pulled back his collar and drank, the taste of his blood a little different than she remembered, but then, it had been thirty years since Haji...

Saya's eyes widened. She jerked away from Solomon, losing her balance and stumbling back.

"Haji," Saya said. Her chest heaved. "Where's Haji?"

"Saya," Solomon said. He made a move toward her but Saya gripped a stick, holding it upright like a sword.

"Stay away from me," Saya said.

"Saya-"

"I said _stay away_!"

"Saya," Kai said.

Saya looked up. Kai was standing behind Solomon, the red stone glinting in the watery light. "It's okay," Kai said. He held out his hand. "Saya. No one will hurt you."

"Kai," Saya said, and her face wrenched. The stick clattered on the ground.

xXx

.

They drove without saying anything, Kai at the steering wheel and Saya at the passenger seat. Solomon didn't go with them.

"I think he wanted to fly," Kai said. He looked older, but his voice was still the same. "Ever since he lost that arm, he's been flying everywhere. I told him, if someone sees you, it's your own damn fault, but he probably didn't listen..."

Kai fell silent. The truck rocked, the body of the vehicle bobbing slightly with the bumps of the road. Saya could hear the metal gears shifting with their weight, the sound of the tires crunching over hot gravel.

"He was nervous," Kai said, finally. Saya glanced back. "He didn't stick around the facility. But when your time came, he just showed up. Said if Haji couldn't be there, the least he could do was be there so you could feed. Made that stuff kind of unnecessary," Kai said.

He motioned to the cooler in the back, which was filled with blood. Saya said nothing. She looked out the window and at the landscape rolling behind them.

"The twins don't know," Kai said. "I mean, they know what they are, they know how their blood works. But they don't know about you and their mother."

"I would have guessed as much," Saya said. Her gaze shifted back to the landscape, but all she could see was her reflection on the dirty glass.

"Don't worry," Saya said. "I won't tell them."

"Good," Kai said. They turned in, wheels crunching on the dirt road.

xXx

.

The twins looked like Riku. Saya swallowed the knot in her throat when they ran up to greet her, hugging her and smiling, bright.

"Ne, Auntie Saya," one of them said. "Uncle Solomon seemed sad."

"What?" Saya startled. The twins nodded, gravely.

"He missed you and he was looking forward to seeing you. Did you get in a fight?"

"No-" Saya blinked. "I need to speak with your father," Saya said. She pushed passed them and searched for Kai.

"I can't do this," Saya said. They were sitting on the porch again, away from the party and the other guests. Kai nodded and Saya gripped the railing in her hands. "It may seem like thirty years to you, but it was just like yesterday to me. Haji is dead, and I never got to tell him..." she closed her eyes, a tear spilling over. "If he were alive, we could be together right now," Saya said.

Kai nodded. The wind stirred; he drank his beer slowly, swirling the bottle in his hand.

"Do you want to leave?" Kai asked. Saya stared at her hands.

"Where would I go?" Saya said.

xXx

.

The room was quiet. Slowly, Saya pulled on her nightgown and climbed into bed, listening as the curtains stirred in the soft night breeze. She turned on her side and stared at the wall.

"Saya," Solomon said.

Saya sat up. Solomon stepped forward, moonlight falling on his face. She could see where he had tied off the empty sleeve of his left arm; it flapped uselessly by his side.

"What do you want?" Saya said.

"I want to help you," Solomon said.

"I told you," Saya said. "I never want to see you again."

Solomon's jaw tightened. "I have waited thirty years to talk to you," Solomon said. "I just wanted to thank you. For saving my life."

Saya looked away. Solomon sat beside her.

"A life alone is not a life worth living," Solomon said. "How long can you possibly continue to grieve?"

A sharp turn, and she stared at Solomon, who was watching her with darkened eyes.

"Forgive me," Solomon said, and he stood. "It is draining, being in love with a ghost. I only wish you knew that," Solomon said. Saya glared.

"Goodnight, Saya," Solomon said, and softly shut the door.

xXx

.

The leaves fell in autumn, and Saya wandered the streets in her scarf and gloves. She walked the cobbled streets of Amsterdam and the cracked pavement of America, kicked up the dust in Mexico and trudged through the Russian snow.

_"Isn't it beautiful?" Haji said, once. Saya had frowned, shooting him a withering stare._

_"We have no time for beauty, Haji," Saya said. She hitched up her sword, the plume of her breath dissipating in the cold night air._

"It is a night for remembering," Solomon said, and Saya turned. "Forgive me, Saya. But a beautiful woman should not be wandering alone."

"Tch." Saya looked out into the horizen, doing her best to ignore Solomon, who stepped close beside her. The wind stirred and she could see the leaves skirting across the sidewalk of the street. "How long have you been following me?"

"Perhaps a month, maybe more," Solomon said. "It's hard to keep track these days."

"Huh," Saya said. The empty sleeve of his jacket caught the wind and flapped inelegantly. Solomon frowned, winding it around his stump with distaste.

"I hate to do this," Solomon said, and he knotted the sleeve with his good arm, tying it down. "It does ruin a good suit."

"What do you want?" Saya said.

"You know what I want, Saya. Only to be with you," Solomon said. Saya glared.

"So hostile," Solomon murmured. Saya moved, knocking into his shoulder as she passed him. "Time and proximity, love. We have centuries to dance this dance. I shall make you mine, yet."

"I don't want to be yours, Solomon," Saya said. She whirled around, glaring.

"I hate you," Saya said. "I hate everything about you. I wish you had just died!"

There was a startled, hurt look in his eyes, but it passed as soon as it came.

"You're the reason I'm still alive," Solomon said. "But if you really wish it..."

"And if I did?" Saya said. Solomon smiled.

"I would probably ignore you," Solomon said. Saya started to leave. "Saya, wait."

He grabbed her by the arm, then yanked her toward his chest. She lost her balance, falling against him.

"Solomon-"

But he kissed her, his one good hand gripping her for balance.

Saya pulled away. "Dammit, Solomon."

"I'm sorry," Solomon said. He moved to kiss her again but Saya turned her head. He dropped a kiss by her eyes, then rested his forehead against hers. She felt him grip her shoulder, the fabric crushed up under his arm.

"It would be better if I had both hands," Solomon said. His voice was breathy. "Saya. I love you. Even if you don't feel the same. I'm yours."

"But I don't want you," Saya said. Solomon squeezed his eyes. She felt his hand drop away from her shoulder.

"So be it," Solomon said. He stepped back, shadows over his eyes.

"You can call me 'Haji,' if you wish," Solomon said.

She couldn't see his eyes.

xXx

.

They crashed against the bed, Solomon's knee shoved between Saya's legs. Saya kissed him hard and she felt him tear at the buttons of her blouse. He fumbled, struggling for balance as he leaned forward, like a table with a broken leg.

Saya gasped. He sucked hard at the skin of her collarbone, breathing hard and grinding his pelvis against hers.

Would Haji do this? Saya forced her eyes upward, just barely aware the feel of Solomon's thumb hooking the edge of her bra strap. She felt his hand slip under the cups of her bra and gasped when she felt him roll her nipple between his fingers. It was dirty and it was obscene, and when she felt his hot mouth on her clit she panted and moaned and tried desperately not to cry.

"Saya," Solomon said. Fat tears rolled down Saya's face. She pulled up her underwear and pulled her knees to her chest, shaking and covering her eyes.

She felt him tug at her hand, forcing her to open her eyes. "Solomon, please-"

Her eyes opened. Haji was looking down at her, worried and sad.

"Solomon," Saya said, but he didn't speak. Instead, he knelt forward and gently pressed a kiss against her cheek. He kissed her face and he kissed both corners of her eyes, and slowly, Saya let him lean her back against the bed.

Saya cried. She pressed her face against his, let out a sharp cry as he pushed up inside her.

He felt good. It was the only thing Saya was aware of, how wet she was and how his hardness slipped in as if he was always a part of her. Gently he began to move, sliding up with slow, deliberate strokes, and she could feel his breath fanning against her neck, could feel his effort not to lose himself and hurt her.

Saya groaned. Her hands dug into his back, her pelvis rocking back against his.

"Faster," Saya said. She arched against him, legs tightening around his waist. "Faster, please, _oh_!" He thrust harder and Saya shrieked, arms thrown around his neck and crying out in ragged breaths because she was coming, coming, spiraling tight inside her and threatening to burst, when her hand slipped and she felt the fleshy stump of what used to be his left arm.

"Solomon," she said, and her orgasm seemed to wrench her in two.

xXx

.

They sat at opposite ends of the bed, Saya hugging her arms as Solomon pulled on his shirt. She watched as he began to button his shirt with difficulty, one hand fumbling with the buttons.

"Wait," Saya said. Solomon looked up. Gingerly she moved next to him, then tugged the shirt close. She concentrated on the buttons, trying to ignore the warmth of his skin and the feel of his breathing under her palm.

"It was a mistake," Saya said. She smoothed the front of his shirt, letting the tips of her fingers linger. "Solomon. I know what you're trying to do, and I appreciate it, but we can't do this. It wasn't real."

"It was real to me," Solomon said. Saya closed her eyes. He bent forward, then pressed a soft kiss against her face. "Even if you won't have me. Even if you love another man. I told you I'd give you your dreams, Saya. I just ask that you give me mine."

"I can't," Saya said. One tear slipped, then another. "It was like he died just yesterday," Saya said. "He was always by my side. And I never told him. I never..." She closed her eyes, tears spilling over.

"Your tears saved my life," Solomon said, and he brushed her cheek with the tips of his fingers.

"You cried for me, Saya. Even if you don't feel it, that means something. It means everything," Solomon said, and his voice was full of pain.

"Because otherwise I would have nothing. Saya."

xXx

.

Saya stood at the balcony, looking out at the nighttime skyline and rubbing her arms.

_"Give it time," Kai had said. Saya had come back after her yearlong journey, exhausted and weary to the bones. Quietly he had taken her in and hooked her up to her IV of blood, after saying goodnight to the twins and letting her in. _

Now Saya stared out into the distance, thinking of Diva and Haji and the hundred wasted years between them. The wind stirred and somewhere she could hear cars driving by, and she thought of the next hundred years she'd spend alone.

In the room, Solomon was still sitting on the bed. His back was hunched, and Saya realized just how lonely he must have been. Quietly Saya slipped back inside, closing the balcony door behind her.

_"And what is it that you want?" Saya asked._

_Haji stepped beside her and smiled._

_"I want for you to be happy," Haji said._

_"With whomever that may be."_

_.  
><em>

end._  
><em>


End file.
